Look Who is Coming to The Cynical Times!
Look who is coming to the Cyincal Times! After some close investigation of
who exactly is coming to our dainty little website, the writers of The
Cynical Times have decided to run a little statistical study of who exactly
is visiting our website.
We will start our journey by venturing deep into the world of what people search for, ever since we have been on our new server, that features statistics. So, what do people who have found the site search for? Why, "The Cynical Times" right!1
That seems to be going well, people are finding the site by searching for it, no? Wait, what is this? "ham burgler?"2 "bartosz milewski review?"2 "harry potter j.k. rowlings mythology?"2 Alright. I can handle that. Makes sense.
Wait, what is this? "Groomed pubic hair?"3 Oh, yes, the whole pubic hair article. "Gay ramstein?"3 No.Well, anyways, it gets worse. Enjoy.
Conclusion: It takes all types, and lots of people saying "What's the URL for The Cynical Times Larry?" and then proceeding to search for our URL with such popular cynical times finding keywords as "small breasted women" and "build hobbit house."
| KEY: GO AFGHANISTAN (JUST KIDDING) |
| bold text and 3 and BLACK denote "SERIOUSLY MESSED UP" |
| italic text and 2 and YELLOW denote "KINDA MESSED UP" |
| plain text and 1 and GREEN denote "AY OK!" |
| plain text and white denote "COMPLETELY UNRELATED" |
| Summary Period: October 2001: Top 20 of 41 Total Search Strings | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String | |
| 1 | 5 | 9.80% | cynical times1 |
| 2 | 3 | 5.88% | eastcoastballers1 |
| 3 | 3 | 5.88% | qt tutorials |
| 4 | 2 | 3.92% | cynical1 |
| 5 | 2 | 3.92% | the cynical times1 |
| 6 | 1 | 1.96% | arslock cynical times1 |
| 7 | 1 | 1.96% | bartosz milewski review2 |
| 8 | 1 | 1.96% | bikini and hair3 |
| 9 | 1 | 1.96% | cybersex transcript hot horny3 |
| 10 | 1 | 1.96% | cynical news1 |
| 11 | 1 | 1.96% | cynical times laura2 |
| 12 | 1 | 1.96% | epil ass3 |
| 13 | 1 | 1.96% | flavored cigarettes2 |
| 14 | 1 | 1.96% | flesh eating disease3 |
| 15 | 1 | 1.96% | gay ramstein3 |
| 16 | 1 | 1.96% | groomed pubic hair3 |
| 17 | 1 | 1.96% | ham burgler2 |
| 18 | 1 | 1.96% | harry potter j.k.rowlings mythology2 |
| 19 | 1 | 1.96% | is jk rowlings a satanist2 |
| 20 | 1 | 1.96% | j k rowlings satan worship2 |
| Summary Period: January 2002: Top 20 of 37 Total Search Strings | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String | |
| 1 | 7 | 13.21% | small breasted women3 |
| 2 | 5 | 9.43% | qt tutorials |
| 3 | 4 | 7.55% | gtk tutorials |
| 4 | 3 | 5.66% | donald rumsfeild2 |
| 5 | 2 | 3.77% | unichat downloads |
| 6 | 1 | 1.89% | andrew mansbach1 |
| 7 | 1 | 1.89% | build hobbit house2 |
| 8 | 1 | 1.89% | busty-model3 |
| 9 | 1 | 1.89% | c oob |
| 10 | 1 | 1.89% | c oob code |
| 11 | 1 | 1.89% | cache:qiir5cxzyhec:www.eastcoastballers.com/arslock/cinema.html1 |
| 12 | 1 | 1.89% | elijah wood fuck3 |
| 13 | 1 | 1.89% | epil stop and pubic hair3 |
| 14 | 1 | 1.89% | epil stop pubic hair3 |
| 15 | 1 | 1.89% | fake cigarette warning pictures3 |
| 16 | 1 | 1.89% | fat-women-at-the-beach3 |
| 17 | 1 | 1.89% | fuck america3 |
| 18 | 1 | 1.89% | gaim perl script tutorial |
| 19 | 1 | 1.89% | gimli dwarves333 |
| 20 | 1 | 1.89% | greenville girls in thongs3 |
| Top 20 of 167 Total Search Strings | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String | |
| 1 | 29 | 12.45% | small breasted women3 |
| 2 | 5 | 2.15% | bea aurthur3 |
| 3 | 5 | 2.15% | donald rumsfeild2 |
| 4 | 4 | 1.72% | jared fogle1 |
| 5 | 4 | 1.72% | unichat downloads |
| 6 | 3 | 1.29% | boromir desire3 |
| 7 | 3 | 1.29% | cross tattoo3 |
| 8 | 3 | 1.29% | delaware girl scouts2 |
| 9 | 3 | 1.29% | flesh eating bacteria2 |
| 10 | 2 | 0.86% | clown bike2 |
| 11 | 2 | 0.86% | connie legrand3 |
| 12 | 2 | 0.86% | dog doorbell3 |
| 13 | 2 | 0.86% | dog flotation device3 |
| 14 | 2 | 0.86% | ellen merlo3 |
| 15 | 2 | 0.86% | jared for subway3 |
| 16 | 2 | 0.86% | jared from subway3 |
| 17 | 2 | 0.86% | mcdonald's signs served2 |
| 18 | 2 | 0.86% | qt tutorials |
| 19 | 2 | 0.86% | real infant pictures2 |
| 20 | 2 | 0.86% | real stupidity1 |
Summary Period: December 2001
| Top 20 of 87 Total Search Strings | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String | |
| 1 | 19 | 13.38% | small breasted women3 |
| 2 | 13 | 9.15% | gtk tutorials |
| 3 | 9 | 6.34% | donald rumsfeild2 |
| 4 | 6 | 4.23% | snowball maker2 |
| 5 | 3 | 2.11% | andrew mansbach1 |
| 6 | 3 | 2.11% | taliban parodies2 |
| 7 | 3 | 2.11% | unichat downloads |
| 8 | 2 | 1.41% | bhumika patel3 |
| 9 | 2 | 1.41% | clown bike3 |
| 10 | 2 | 1.41% | connie legrand2 |
| 11 | 2 | 1.41% | minature bicycle2 |
| 12 | 2 | 1.41% | what if god was one of us3 |
| 13 | 2 | 1.41% | why does everybody hate me3 |
| 14 | 1 | 0.70% | 12 volt lighting doll houses3 |
| 15 | 1 | 0.70% | 2003 mercedes benz sl500 3 |
| 16 | 1 | 0.70% | alexandria danimation3 |
| 17 | 1 | 0.70% | america fuck3 |
| 18 | 1 | 0.70% | american flag thongs3 |
| 19 | 1 | 0.70% | arm-wrestling girls3 |
| 20 | 1 | 0.70% | bikini2 |
Summary Period: November 2001
| Top 20 of 155 Total Search Strings | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String | |
| 1 | 22 | 9.44% | gtk tutorials |
| 2 | 16 | 6.87% | small breasted women3 (is this a trend, or what?) |
| 3 | 6 | 2.58% | qt tutorials |
| 4 | 6 | 2.58% | snowball maker2 |
| 5 | 4 | 1.72% | donald rumsfeild2 |
| 6 | 4 | 1.72% | minature bicycle2 |
| 7 | 4 | 1.72% | wtc fun3 |
| 8 | 3 | 1.29% | destroy x103 |
| 9 | 3 | 1.29% | john grisam3 |
| 10 | 3 | 1.29% | new unichat downloads |
| 11 | 3 | 1.29% | why does everybody hate me3 |
| 12 | 3 | 1.29% | wtc destruction3 |
| 13 | 2 | 0.86% | american flag sticker3 |
| 14 | 2 | 0.86% | c linux socket examples |
| 15 | 2 | 0.86% | gamer shirts |
| 16 | 2 | 0.86% | j. k. rowlings satan2 |
| 17 | 2 | 0.86% | jk rowlings satan2 |
| 18 | 2 | 0.86% | jk rowlings satanist2 |
| 19 | 2 | 0.86% | linux oob how to |
| 20 | 2 | 0.86% | man with boobs3 |
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