Hideous Wench Proud Of Inner Beauty
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| O'Donnel, in admiration of fellow wench Plushkins |
WANDERBROOK, KY--Wretched Wanderbrook wench Lucy Plushkins claims to be proud of her "great inner beauty" despite both her overwhelming lack of desirability and her being indisputably wretched to the eyes.
"I know that, no matter what anybody thinks, I am a lovely, beautiful person on the inside," remarked Plushkins, with the horrible hint of a smile on her deplorable face.
Added Plushkins, "It's what's on the inside that counts, after all," in a possible reference to excessive fat buildup throughout her entire repulsive body, clogged arteries, tar-covered lungs, the last three pizzas she ate, and any additional chins she keeps hidden behind her beard.
"What's really important is that I like myself, and nobody could ever take that away from me," rambled Plushkins, explaining why nobody else likes her.
Plushkins then elaborated on her views, saying, "This is just the way God made me, simple as that. I know and God knows deep down inside that my body is a wonderful thing: the miracle of life, my life!"
Now, that is just gross.
There are, disgustingly, some who admire Plushkin's vomit-inducing self-devotion and sheer ignorance of the opinions of the normal world. One of these people is self-devoted talk-show-host-turned-magazine-editor Rosie O'Donnel, who plans to feature Plushkin's vomit-inducing story in her magazine Rosie.
"I think her [wretched wench Lucy Plushkin's] story is really inspiring, especially to other [revolting] women out there who are concerned about their [O so ugly] body images," announced O'Donnel on her show in a very serious tone.
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| Oozy blob sighted in Wanderbrook Kentucky |
Following this announcement was a special tribute to one of O'Donnel's adopted children.
Other people think beauty is only skin-deep. People like Lucy's neighbors, Jan and Steve Williamson. Jan, a former beauty queen, had this to say: "She's so like, messed up. The other day, the mailman was giving it [wretched whench Lucy Plushkins] the mail, and said something like, 'Your beard looks nice today,' and she was so happy to have a compliment, she started to hug herself and prance around, then she started to scream, 'I am beautiful inside and out!' Let me tell you this though, she isn't beautiful, at all... she reminds me more than anything of Big Momma, from Big Momma's House... but she isn't black, or a guy... at least I don't think it is a guy."
Steve Williamson shares the same opinion as his beatiful, sexy, good-in-the-sack--so he tells us--wife. "Yeah, she's hot, huh? What? Not my wife? That thing that lives next door? Oh, damn, man... I just ate. To tell you the truth, it takes a strong man to look into the black hole that is that thing's face. Do you know who she reminds me of? Oh? My wife already told you, okay. My wife is something, though, you know what I'm saying?"
Others wish they could be as horribly fat and ugly as Lucy Plushkins is. Malnourished Ethiopian Carl Smith commented, "I hate America. You have all of these fat, ugly people. [Clicking noise] Here all we have is skinny black people. The only fat person I have seen in my miserable life was 'hippo woman' [Sally Struthers]. [Clacking noise] Brotha, that miserable whore ate all our food. Why O why can't I be fat?"
We all wish that we were beatiful on the inside, but if you have ever gutted a random homeless person (that you lured off the street with malt liquor) just to look at the inside of a human body, then you will know that it is pretty gross.
Oh, you can watch the Discovery Channel too, if you want to see the inside of a human body, just without all the mess.
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