The Shining: Where is all the slaughtering?
By David Manning of the Ridgefield Press

The best they can do? It just does not cut it for me

I just saw The Shining with Jack Nicholson, and my God, talk about boring! I mean, from the very beginning, this is one long, slow ordeal. Couldn't they have at least shown somebody dying to grab the audience's attention? I was confused for the whole first half hour; I was expecting the family to be murdered by some freak knife-wielder and then the main characters to be introduced after that, but no, instead the audience has all this plot crap shoved down their throats. If I wanted plot, then I'd go see an engrossing drama like Pearl Harbor. If I'm watching a horror movie, I expect to see something that could never really happen but I believe anyway. The Shining did not deliver.

I'll give the movie some credit: there is blood here and there, only it's just not believable unless you implicitly see somebody somehow punctured, stabbed, hooked, etc, but where did this blood come from? Is it the kid's blood? If so, how was he mutilated? And why is it pouring out of an elevator? Were people slaughtered there? Unfortunately, The Shining just leaves audiences wondering, leading some to believe that the blood may in fact be fake.

The Shining has--and I am not exaggerating--one violent onscreen mutilation. One. To make matters worse, it is hardly what I would consider a mutilation. And this movie is in the horror section? Go figure. Sure, they are often implied and referred to, creating a feeling of dread and playing with the audience's mind, but seriously, if I wanted something to play with my mind, then I'd go watch Who wants to be a millionaire? I don't see what is so scary about a nice man offering a kid ice cream, or a little boy playing with his invisible friend.

There were also many parts of this movie that I didn't get. Why was the boy so scared by two little girls who wanted to play? And how did that mysterious woman become old so quickly? We all know that people can't age that fast--even women. And why didn't the bar tender want Jack's money? Wasn't he worried about getting fired?

Sadly, no.

Bigger questions also came up during this movie. If the roads were blocked, then how did all those people get there for that party? And how did they die and decompose so quickly? Most importantly, however: how did they die? Were they the victims of a man who was hit by a car, thrown dead into the water, and came back with a hook on his hand for revenge? These obvious logical questions are never answered.

In perhaps a last-minute effort to make the movie actually scary, the writers had the father character, Jack, become crazy near the end. Why, then, do they show the identity of the crazy man? Shouldn't he wear some sort of intimidating mask as to disguise his identity until the end? This doesn't happen, and all I could do was wonder why I wasn't wondering. How could there still be a big surprise?

Sadly, there is none. While the name hints something having to do with shiny metal to be used as a weapon of mass murder, it is instead just as confusing as the rest of this movie. Not only does Jack kill no more than one person (again, no exaggeration) making this more of a brief comedy than anything else, he isn't killed by the star at the end. He isn't even ever presumed to be dead, only to come back to life. Again, more confusion set in than terror: when was he going to be stunned and not killed? Why didn't he die a horrible death? This hints that he was not truly a villain, only making the movie's credibility even weaker. Surely a villain would die some wretched death to pay for his deeds, but this again is not so in The Shining.

Now, rather than sitting here telling you how bad a job the filmakers did, I offer to explain just how easily this could have been a decent horror film using most present plot elements.

First, take the caretaking approach, but add in a little twist: there is one guest who is still in the hotel who just happens to be an angry chainsaw murderer. Just think of the possibilities that this single addition could have opened up! All you need now is a long-forgotten love triangle involving the murderer, the mom, and Danny, and you have an engaging horror film.

Of course, now may be a bit too late to save this film. Also, you may have noticed that I have not once referred to teenagers. There is a reason for this: there are none in The Shining. Not one horrible gutting of a busty model-turned-actress teenager. Not one. Frankly, I don't even consider The Shining on par with such classic horror movies as I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and Urban Ledgends: Final Cut. This 'movie' is a disgrace.

Now normally, I'd tell you, "If you don't believe me, watch it yourself," but I cannot honestly tell anyone to watch this. Perhaps it would be better if we do not ponder the many questions of this slow, drawn-out film. In fact, I don't know if I would recommend this to even hard-core fans of shiny metals and the such, you know, like retards and old people. Frankly, I feel that this does the greaest harm to you and your reputation. And that's just wrong.

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