| UPDATED:
01/10/02 |
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| Real Stupidity 1: The First Edition | |
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| Just found those two pictures incredibly scary. Thought I'd share. |
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| An X-ray dated August 15, 2000 showing the 13-inch long, two-inch wide surgical retractor that was accidentally left in the body of Donald Church, 49, of Lynnwood, Washington, by a University of Washington Medical Center (UWMC) surgeon during an operation to remove a tumor on June 6, 2000. The stainless steel retractor, resembling a metal ruler, somehow slipped from the hands of a distracted doctor during the procedure. When Church complained of unusual post-operative pain, other doctors discovered the retractor during a CAT scan and surgically removed the device soon after. The UWMC agreed to pay Church $97,000 after accepting responsibility for the mistake. (Anthony Bolante/Reuters) Oh,
that 13 inch metal thing? Yeah, I left it in there, what's
the big freakin' deal? |
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| I think it is funny that there is competiton in the lucrative buisness of things to put in your toilet to scare people. The competitor sells the toilet monster for 19.98, but if you buy it from us it's only 17.99! | |
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| Isn't that amazing? If you spend 4 bucks to fix a dent on your car, I doubt you would be concerned about the pristine condition of your paint job. This one has a great name too; Gorak the caveman in marketing came up with it. | |
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| For extra fun, attach the sled to a pack of the neighborhood dogs. In minutes, your infant can be a dog team driver, just like the grizzly men of the north! If dogs are not available, just push your infant down the biggest hill that you can find. | |
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| Aren't these dogies cute? They seem sooooo happy in their bed. What is wrong with their human? Seriously. Ok, this one isn't an ad... just thought it was dumb. Now that is out of the way, here are real ads... | |
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| Aren't these dogies cute? They seem sooooo happy in their "comfort basket." Reminds me of The Wizard of Oz and Toto in the back of the bike in the basket. Too bad these dogs can't jump out, because they are inclosed in a metal cage. | |
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Yes,
now I can finally get that clown bike that I've been allways
wanting. |
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Dog Doorbell: Easy to use and inconspicuous (what will the neighbors think?), this device allows pets to signal when they wish to go outside by stepping on the “paw” to ring the wall- or stand-mounted chime. The device uses radio frequency to transmit from paw to chime. Any size dog can activate the device, and the chime can be set for doorbell tone or a natural-sounding bark (because we can't have your dog barking for themselves). Multiple paws can be distributed around the home at various pet exits. The chime operates on three AA batteries (included: that's what you get for 29.95) and the paw operates on a 9-volt battery (included). Battery power provides up to 10,000 chimes before requiring replacement. Includes instructions on how to train a dog to use the device. (Well, hot damn, it's not self-training? What kinda deal is this?) Not recommended for use outside in inclement weather. (If Sparky is outside in the rain, he's S.O.L.) If
it's so easy to train a dog to step on a tiny "paw," so
you will hear the "bark" of a dog, and open the door...
why can't you train the damned thing to bark on its own? What's
that sound? Oh, nevermind, it's just the dog again. |
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| Fake sun: Floating as high as 50 feet in the air, turning night into day (I've allways wanted to do that- now I finally can), this 2600-watt artificial sun will illuminate a 15,000 to 20,000 square-foot area with soft, ambient lighting. The 6 1/2-foot diameter sun ball has been used on movie sets, commercial tapings, at the 1997 Superbowl and the 1996 Republican Convention. (Wow, thinking back, I remember that fake sun at the 96' Convention. Genius!) It is suitable for use indoors and outdoors or anywhere standard lighting is not readily available or sufficient—picnics (at night), parades (also at night), sporting events, lawn parties (at night), pool decks, tennis courts or banquet halls (that have no lighting at all... IE abondened warehouses). Inside the white coated nylon sphere are four 650-watt halogen bulbs. For use outdoors, the tether can be held firmly in place by a horseshoe-shaped, metal ground anchor. Lightweight, and portable, it can be folded for carry or storage in a vinyl case (included: I'm so glad it was included, or else I just wouldn't know where to put my fake sun when im not using it for a picnic). Not intended for use in winds above ten miles per hour. Fills with 148 cubic feet of helium (Which I'm sure you have just lying around) in approximately 20 minutes. 5 foot sun also available. | |
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| Designed to ensure water safety for children age 12 and under, this is the first swimsuit flotation device to receive Coast Guard approval and it should easily win approval by both children and adults as well. It is worn like a regular swimsuit but has eight buoyant foam inserts, permanently sewn in, to keep the child afloat. The suit is ideal for water play, when learning to swim or in place of a regulation lifejacket for boating. Unlike other flotation devices, children won’t mind wearing it. The suit is lightweight so that it won’t hamper their activities—they’ll even like the colors: neon green for boys (I wonder what the boy's suit looks like) and a hot pink for girls. As an added safety precaution, once the suit is on, it cannot be removed without adult assistance. Quick drying lycra/nylon. Suit is not a substitute for parental supervision. (Well, if that's the case, I'm not gonna buy this after all.) | |
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| This one-of-a-kind doll, like a real baby, will go through the key stages of growth—she even arrives with a birth certificate. She begins as a cooing, crawling infant and will grow and develop into a chatty toddler with a vocabulary of over 500 words. Highly interactive, she readily responds to feeding, eating, going down for a nap, a change of clothes and being spoken to. Similar to a real baby, the doll will fuss if neglected (Guaranteed to piss you off- just like a real baby!), but is soothed by attention. The doll has a patented internal microprocessor to track the progression of time. In her final growth spurt, the doll will learn to walk and speak in complete sentences, sing songs, recite the alphabet and numbers, and play games. Easily reset back to infant stage, or to a previous stage in her development. (Doll turns out to just be a psycho killer that wants to possess your child's body) Included with doll are a five-piece wardrobe, carrier, feeding accessories, blanket, teddy bear and birth certificate. For (Will scare the living hell out of) ages six and up. | |
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| Includes easy-to-follow directions If I wanted to break in to houses and steal cars I would buy this. It even names all of the things that you can use it to break in to. You can't read it but it says Not Available in FL under the picture. | |
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| Oh yeah, sexy... Look, it does work, it made the E bigger... wow. Easily clips on to frameless glasses like anyone would have huge glasses like that so that the magnifier would fit. To think people would actually buy these. | |
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| What can I say? This is so pathetic... Take that exercise! To think people think this acutally works... | |
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| This just so fake and disgusting, I have nothing else to say. | |
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| It's called "Stump Out". Ideal for getting rid of that pesky tree stump. What if you pour some of it on your hand? | |
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| Just point and spray. The ad says '2oz', but the badly drawn lable on the excite spray says '1oz' if you look closely. Sigh, what is this world coming to? | |
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| "America's Favorite Cat"? I've never heard of this thing. The Best Cat Ever. That's the name of this book, The Best Cat Ever, and it is a sequel to books about cats with other original titles like: The Cat Who Came for Christmas, and The Cat and the Curmudgeon. What the hell is a Curmudgeon? This is the "poignant conclusion to the saga of the haughty, endearing Polar Bear..." Someone wrote a saga about a cat? How can you write an entire saga about a freakin' cat? The haughty, endearing polar bear, and his cranky, lovable human." If that doesn't grab you, then you should check for a pulse. The poignant conclusion... Anyway, enough bashing on this one, here is another ad about cats. | |
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| If you aren't concerned about you cat's urethra, who will be? It's like they are asking "Have you examined your cat's privates today?" Why would anyone ever ask anybody that question in the first place? That cat is thinking right now, "Damn, my urinary tract health isn't very good, I hope my human buys me new cat food" | |
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| Which is more effective? the above or... | |
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I'd have to say the first one scares the hell out of me. |
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| Yes, that is right... rewards for smoking! All you have to do is smoke 325 packs to get a Tek Jacket! Only 150 packs gets you a lovely candle/potpourri set! That should help get the stink out of your new jacket from the mere 475 packs that you smoked to get the items. You've certainly got merit. Way to go. And remember, average idiot who would take up this marketing campaign, "Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide." I'm sure you know that means cigarettes are bad. | |
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| We Value You! You can't really read the front cigarette package, but it says on it "full falvor". Mmm, smoke flavor... This one has the better Surgeon General's Warning. I like how they value you, but not your health... Also, notice how it says "favorite cigarette brand(s)." They made sure not to offend anybody who has more than one favorite brand of smokes. You never know when a guy will be offended because you failed to accept the fact that people have more than one favorite brand of cigarettes. ah. | |
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| Good ol' Britney Spears. Talk about fake. The look on her face, that's what sells Pepsi. Who wouldn't be sold by the "Am I doing this right?" look? You can tell how talented Miss Spears is by the fact that she has a Pepsi in each hand, and is holding a mike at the same time. Is this to say that she drinks Pepsi when she performs or that she performs when she drinks Pepsi? Or simply that one bottle of Pepsi isn't enough? I wonder what planet the animal that her jacket is made of is from. I can't get over how fake the expression is on her face... | |
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| With a Snowball Maker, children will touch the snow only to throw each snowball, avoiding uncomfortably wet or cold hands and gloves. For those who enjoy their fires cool and refreshing and their ice water warm and toasty. Or maybe just those who like throwing frozen water at each other without all the hassles of frozen water. How rich can you get? You won't have cold hands... Oy. This thing is so stupid... And the picture, don't you like the plaster snowballs, and the "ice" and "snow". So cheesy. | |
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| Here is another innovation, a computer that you can wear! It's fantastic! Imagine, walking around your house wearing a "fashion vest" that also has a computer built in to it. You can hardly even tell that it has a computer built in to it...Only $5,000!... This guy looks like he's the terminator or something with that thing on his head. The look on his face is better than Britney's. The keyboard looks like you can really use it easily, too. | |
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