Man Successfuly Combines His Love of Bass Fishin' and Sense of Hereditary Superiority into One "Awesome" Vanity License Plate

Dale Fenton and fellow bass fisher Daniel L. Smith

COWPENS, SC -- Local "white historian" Dale Fenton was found to bragging loudly in the Cowpens Arby's (store # 5422) parking lot about his "Awesome new vanity license plate." While munching on an Arby's Marketfresh Roast Beef Sandwich (only 3.99 at participating Arby's locations, plus tax), Fenton was quoted saying "Yep, pretty damn cool, huh? I went to the local graphics shop (otherwise known as Six Flags over Georgia) and got me this awesome new vanity liscense plate. I mean just look at the thing, it's beautiful. The artist has successfuly combined my love for bass fishin' and my hatred of all things non-white into one awesome license plate!"

Dale's fellow Arby's patrons Josh Barlett and Daniel L. Smith were enthralled by the new plate.

"It looks pretty good, Dale," commented Smith.

Barlett responded: "Yep."

Smith retorted with a belching sound and: "Yep, that's right."

The infamous Confederate Bass front-bumper vanity license plate

Some patrons of the Cowpens Arby's (store # 5422) were not as pleased with Fenton's choice of vanity front-bumper license plates. Said one Arby's patron, Shaniqua Brown: "I don't like that shit he put on the front of his bumper. I'm dead serious, all that "license plate" on the front of his car just promotes slavery and oppression and hatred... oh and bass fishin' too, which is the devil. Vanity license plates should be like the one my cousin, JP, has, well he has this real fly one on his '83 Taurus that say "JP" on it. That shit's tite, not some goddamned confederate KKK bullshit. I, personally am offended."

When his front-bumper vanity license plate was labled "offensive" by Shaniqua Brown, Fenton had this response: "OH SHIT, not another one of those 'hate symbol' de-bates again, man all I'm trying to do is remember my love of the Stars and Bars and bass fishin'. Is that so wrong?"

The artist who sold the vanity license plate was tracked down to the Hot Spot Bait and Tackle/Diner of Louisville, KY. "Well, I had bout fifty of these confederate flag plates I couldn't get rid of, so I brainstormed for the better part of three hours, and then it just hit me. I mean, what do pure white-bread Americans like more than a bit of bass fisihin'!" commentend a Bait and Tackle/Diner employee.

When informed of the controversy that was brewing back in Cowpens, the Bait and Tackle/Diner employee had this to say: "What, somebody named 'Shaniqua' in Cowpens, South Carolina is offended by a mass-produced and mass-bought bass fishin'/Confederate battle flag front-bumper vanity license plate? Oh jeez, you made me miss my car-toons for this?! Go to hell."

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